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Keeping life in perspective:

As we enter into the Jewish calendar’s month of Adar we prepare ourselves to celebrate Purim, which this year is March 9^th. So, to get us into the spirit of the season I want to share a few good Purim jokes:

1. Four Jewish ladies are playing a game of cards. The first lady sighs and says: “Oy…” The second lady nods, sighs and says: “Oy vey!” The third says: “ Oy veys meer!” The fourth lady chimes in: “Enough talk about the children, already. Let’s get back to the game.”

2. A man is having a problem with his son and goes to the rabbi. “I sent him to Hebrew school and gave him an expensive bar mitzvah, “ says the man, “ and now he tells me he’s decided to convert to Christianity! Rabbi where did I go wrong? “ Funny you should come to me,” says the rabbi. “I also brought my boy up in faith and gave him a fancy bar mitzvah. Then one day he, too, tells me he’s decided to convert to Christianity.” “So what did you do?” asked the man. “I turned to God for the answer.” Replied the rabbi. “And what did God say?”, the may pressed. “ God said: ‘funny you should come to Me…’”

3. An old man calls his son. He says, “Son, I hate to tell you, but your mother and I are divorcing. It’s been 45 years, and I can’t stand it anymore. We’re separating next week.”

The son starts screaming and panicking, but the father says, “Look, go call your sister in Texas and tell her, because your mother’s crying, and I’m sick of talking about this.”

The old man hangs up. The son frantically calls his sister. Two minutes later, she’s calling the old man saying, “You can’t get divorced! This is horrible! Don’t do a thing until I call my brother back, because we are both flying down, and we will be there tomorrow night!”

She hangs up. The old man hangs up. Then he turns to his wife in the bed and says, “Okay. They’re coming for Passover, and they’re paying their own airfare.”

4. A priest and a vicar were walking along, when the priest says, “You know, I’ve been told by several parishioners that I am the spitting image of Jesus Christ.”

The vicar is a little shocked and says, “Wait, I’ve got the beard, the hair. Everybody tells me I look like Jesus Christ.”

Soon, they’re arguing, and they almost come to blows when they see a Rabbi approaching. “Rabbi,” they say. “Please help us. Which of us is the image of Jesus Christ?”

The Rebbe starts laughing and says, “You? You two? Neither. I’m the image of Jesus Christ – and I can prove it! Follow me.”

So they walk with the Rabbi a mile or two, downtown, through side streets, through alleys, until they come to a dingy little building with a red curtain over the window. They go three floors up some rickety stairs to a hallway with a red light bulb hanging over one of the doors.

The Rabbi knocks, and after a moment, a frazzled buxom blonde in a negligee opens the door. She looks at the Rabbi and sighs, “Jesus Christ, you again??”

5. You Don't Look Jewish

A woman on a train walked up to a man across the table. "Excuse me," she said, "but are you Jewish?"
"No," replied the man.
A few minutes later the woman returned. "Excuse me," she said again, "are you sure you're not Jewish?"
"I'm sure," said the man.
But the woman was not convinced, and a few minutes later she approached him a third time. "Are you absolutely sure you're not Jewish?" she asked?
"All right, all right," the man said. "You win. I'm Jewish."
"That's funny," said the woman." You don't look Jewish."

6. Charity

The rabbi was angry about the amount of money his congregants were giving to charity. He prayed that the rich should give more charity to the poor.
"And has your prayer been answered?" asked his wife.
"Half of it was," replied the rabbi. "The poor are willing to accept the money."

7. The Million-Dollar Question for God

A poor man walking in the forest feels close enough to God to ask, "God, what is a million years to you?
God replies, "My son, a million years to you is like a second to me."
The man asks, "God, what is a million dollars to you?"
God replies, "My son, a million dollars to you is less than a penny to me. It means almost nothing to me. The man asks, "So God, can I have a million dollars?"
And God replies, "In a second."

Throughout the year we are faced with serious issues, serious problems, serious concerns, that we need to address. It’s easy to loose perspective and take life too seriously. Purim reminds us that as much as we need to be serious, from time- to- time, we also have to be able to laugh at our situation. After all, life is too short and it has its funny moments.

So, lighten up a little. Have some fun. Celebrate Purim on March 9^th. You’ll be glad you did.